In The Onion this week:
A key to headache prevention is avoiding getting Starship's "We Built This City" stuck in your head.
The other day I was on my way home and I smelled burning oil. As always, my first reaction was "Is that coming from my car?". A moment later, the rest of my brain pointed out that I was riding my bike, which probably wasn't burning any oil.
Clothes usually come with tags full of colorful, but useless information. The first thing you do after you buy new clothes is cut the tags off, because if you left them on, they'd scratch you and make the clothing uncomfortable. To me, Microsoft Windows is like these tags. It exists only as something I uninstall from new computers before I use them, lest it scratch and irritate me.